With each year that we grow together,
i find a new shade to my character..
i realize how much love is in me..
and with your smile in my heart to feel....

your being there is what makes me complete
knowing you has been the best odyssey
there's nothing i would trade for our little family
Neil joyful, me comfortable and you are our tree

Protecting us, taking care that we smile
hiding your own concerns while letting us rise..
You are my love, my friend, my joy, my life
Your passion is magic and honored to be your wife!

Mood swing not helping, so i decided to smile...:)

Started a business 3 months ago in a field i was so completely unaware of!

Organised Interviews, fished for an office space, bought assets as computers, printers(full support from Dad,mum,frank, kenu bhaiya,Bhai,deepti ben...all the family and lot of friends, basically)Hired people,fired people...!

so in short, life changed in the transition of being an employee and employer...!

Perspective is such a game psyche plays on a human mind..!

Keeping the employees interest, accepting their unhappy times, happy moments, skills, foolishness, everything in one capsule and swallowing that capsule and dare you puke! would be the key trick to be a good boss...!

though i appreciate my guys a lot, i am pretty analytic and can be picky when it comes to silly mistakes...! though always make up for my anger by apologizing , guess thats not enough.

New Chapter in Saumya Das D'cunha's Life::::

My employee, after three months of freaking training and investment now thinks he is better off not taking responsibility and wants to go for a less paying, lesser responsibility job!!!!

Since, being the optimistic me, i only hired two skilled employees, i was quite dependent on them...! and if you know how it could feel to be dragged on thorns with bare asss, you would know how am feeling right now!!! it hurts and i can't relax or sit...!

But the beauty of it is, i am trying that it doesnt affect me that much.. am smiling a lot, to kill the stress, am greeting a lot of people and workin on recruitments because smiling aint gonna get me one more skilled employee, might make me end up looking like a mental case, but surely won't help me at work...but it helps to sustain the hope...!

So don't worry, Be happy... quite literally!

JAI GURUDEV

ps: have a happy smiling day:D

What we have become...

Its not a sad poetry, it's a poetry come out of my regret of not being able to remain what you wanted me to be....

but also a way of letting you know that even if things happen out of our expectations, individuality is just as small as ego. A relationship is bigger that the two people involved in it.

THE MOMENT I WALKED BY

Why didn't you just hold time..
How did you let it pass by..?
What you were unaware of...
When you wanted to walk off...

Back then i was your trophy
In the game we so innocently played
Why now, we have grown already?
Why not get swayed once again?

I am not a bird to fly away,
Neither a pet that could stay..
Am in love ever so respectfully...
Indulged in the moment completely

The shadows in our love, the time has passed
Chances are bleak, but the magic will last
Even when you smile, i can seep into your pain
Ever since i grew up, i take the blame...!

DISCLAIMER: I LOVE YOU

When you took me to the roof top restaurant 6 years back

It was my birthday, the food was perfect, the background had playing our favorite track

I talked endlessly about how i had been and what i was doing

All this while without a word, with magic in your eyes, you went on staring.......!

Standing in your balcony, sipping old monk, we looked at the road below..

We talked about life and held each other, lost in the hour, 2 packs in a row......

i wanted you to say it, but you didn't utter a word...

i knew a better time would come for this to be heard..!

In broad daylight, we danced in the rain,

Splashing water on each other, we gave a damn of being sane..

Wrapped in towels , as we sipped tea, sitting by the bed

You told i looked beautiful with a towel wrapped over my head!!

We came back from the disco, and shared a glass of whiskey

You kept telling me i was high, when i wasn't even tipsy..

The radio played Bryan adams and you just took my hand..

Blew me out of my senses as you made me dance...!

The day I made you watch Titanic the very 5th time..

You kissed me on my forehead and begged this to be the last time..

I told you i wanted to share a story

and we went to the balcony

And as I spoke i knew the moment had come for you to know

My mind was relaxed and my heart was pumping and there was excitement in my toes

I said it softly first and ended up screaming till i had a sore throat

"I LOVE YOU" sounds simple, how come had the power to make my heart float?

You pulled me in your arms and you softly put your lips on mine

But more than the moment, the heart was swelled to an unbelievable size...!

With tears in your eyes, you laughed and laughed

As you bow your head, i knew how wonderful it is to be in LOVE...........!

DEDICATED TO FRANCIS D'CUNHA, THE BESTEST HUSBAND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!

MMMMMWAH MY BABY.. I LOVE YOU

THE IRON HORSE...I LOVE!

THE HARLEY DAVIDSON...

the BEAUTIFUL THUNDERBIRD TWINSPARK...MEAN MACHINE!!!!

What on this freaking EARTH is LOVE????!!!

what is love? baby don't hurt me ,don't hurt me, no more...!!;)
that's the first thing that pops in my mind the moment i think of penning down my great thoughts over LOVE...hahaha
Great or not i don't care, one thing's for sure,,,,every single living human and even dead, has/had a say on it...! everyone knows what love is.. and yet there's a different perception to all the same...!

you don't love me anymore..! why do you say that? Coz you don't call me as many times, you don't buy me gifts, you don't pamper me as muuch,. Oh well thats not because i don't love you, thats only coz we have known each other long enough to stop acting nuts...! Oh so now you telling me that am not worth all that anymore????! NO i never said that!!! You have just simply taken me for granted...!!!!

how many goddamned times have we heard it and ......gone through it ourselves???
is it a matter of wanting to overtly give yourself to another? or is to forget the "self" and indulge in another? is it wanting to be together all the time? or is to schedule your whole life in such a way that "that the other one" is included in EVERYTHING YOU DO?????

i went to college after i got married to Frank, and the first day of my college, Frank tells me, ' you are very young, make an identity for yourself, don't impose on people that you are a wife, they don't even need to know...'
Randomly, just randomly, this pops in to my mind everytime i think of being in love...

coming back to the point... when you love and you let go off your "self", there's not much left to love off you..! think of that... being taken for granted is the term we use most commonly but have we evr given a thought to how we are only take for granted when we give that oppurtunity....? it might not be wise, but think about it....

love is a state of self, something very close to knowing what you are and what you are capable of... only then can you know how to give....

A person trying to create an identity out of being someone's husband/wife or Girl/boyfriend, eventually ends up growing on that one... and then... these are the people who gradually start the dialogue of being taken advantage of, or being taken for granted.....

while all these utterly random thoughts come into my mind and i throw one after another at you, have you concluded what i want to say...?
for me....
love is a passion of a man/woman who knows the self and respects 100 % of it. and then is it possible(according to me....saumya Das D'cunha) to love someone and not loose yourself so you erase the basic identity off you. You gotto loose yourself in the "LOVE" ever so powerful, but only a man full of respect for the self can sustain it long enough... be assured against infidelity, be confident against increasing weight, be conscious of giving full respect and being stable enough to let go off the thing happened a decade ago... To love is to grow together,,, not only in a romantic relationship, in a parent-child, in a friendly one, in every aspect of love, to give with knowledge of knowing that what you are giving is worth it, is what counts... and that my friends is the end of my utter vague, randomly scattered thoughts...
love you all..
mmmmwah!
Somi

What's with everything new????

I bought a set of new t-shirts and the look was so cool that I dragged it untill it grew onto me and I was compelled to go back to my old clothes... Got a new haircut and I fell so madly in love with it that I kept flaunting it and appreciating myself so much that I just got too used to it soon!!! Which in reference reminds me how a new relationship grows on you so deeply that you have no control over yourself!!
Over new shoes, new shirts, new hairstyles, new pants, new car, new bags, new chair(I guess you get the idea) new relationships are the ones that grow so passionately over the passing time.. The beauty of newness of a relationship being that eventhough you insist upon knowing each other thoroughly, you are so involved feeling good spending time with each other that you hardly pay attention to the details.. It's almost magical to be fortunate enough to find a relationship which indulges your complete being and takes total control over you and you just move around all happy and squeaky, fresh and minty , flying high and hardly noticing other people and things around you !!

These are days that you always remember with micro detailing ofclothes and situations and what he said after you guys kissed for the first and how totally sweapt off your feet did you feel after he gave you that long stare with a deep sigh following only to finish the prologue with you are gorgeous... No we never forget those days!!! And I cherish mine!!
My next blog's gonna be what exactly is love to me? Though I pretty
uch can summarize that already, it's my whole life and it's what I am as of now,,, all for you!!

It's a vicious Circle!!!!!

I tell myself all is going to be okay as I am informed that "x" told boss that I gossiped against him!!!!!
Boss confronts me and I clarify that gossips are generally group Activity and how can I be put in the spot !!!!!
I come out and confront people why put me in the spot???and "y" says "z" told me you said so ... so I ask "z"(as If I hadn't had enough in the boss's den of confrontations) so "z" asked "y" and in turn "y" asked I (as in me) and f***!!!now even the topic in concern is lost but at the cost of everyone getting disturbed!!! I hereby state to be very clear and transparent as has been my effort from the very beggining ! Forgive me as I apologise for being part of this vicious circle hence proving that you only end up insecure when indulged in office friendship!!!! It's easier to grow up rather than being neutral!!!!!


Cheers for all the good times before the insecurities began!!!!!

Its official...!

some joke cracked somewhere and all chip in for a laugh.... the little personal touch added for a better environment .... my little office had me and my boss loitering around the corners stacking up work and working our ass off to get it done with...our accountants sat behind in the next room...trying to figure what we keep laughing about... whatever little time we got we made jokes about the rest of the world assuming our selves to be obvious greater beings...!

yes officially, even though the corporate rule is to 'hate your boss'.. i never felt the same...

on the contrary, i felt an ownership...!

but people dynamics is something you learn to live with... and when you don't.. one ends up like me...!

as my collegue once quoted,'DTA- Don't Trust Anyone'!!! that quote crashed on my face when my boss, one-by-one took out topics of our lunch time gossip and after office discussions and threw on my face only what i had said...! hence proving that i was corrupt..! i cleared the confusion..

i relised my mstakes but a question hung in the air............!!!!

if people is what drives an organization, why is everyone only trying to cut the other's organizational life short??? why the factors like jealousy, vanity, lies and confusions such a major part of people dealings??? aren't things more fruitful when they are straight and out in the open??

why is everyone only looking for credit and waiting to snatch an opportunity to feel great at another's cost??

reading this you may feel why i behave as if i am so naive? but hell psychology, reverse psychology, people dynamics, relations have been subjects i have scored excellently at college and reading but i am a classic example for theoretical knowledge but no implication...!!

applaud for me...!!!!!

DECLARATION: my blog is where i vent out my frustration by sharing what i feel for the world , keeping in account that i think i am right in most situations.. believe in human tendencies and aggregate of my emotions is not what i am always, necessarily..!

IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN....!

6 years back, i heard the orchestra playing in the backgroud when i realised i was in love and wanted to be with him forever...and things took shape thereon... we got married... we had a son... we do things together and we also say 'i love you' to each other everyday... but somewhere i had stopped indulging in the orchestra playing in the background..like muted it to be busy in other routine like bringing up Neil(my son), doing other things like cooking, working....!!etc... lately, when my husband thought i was having an affair...he almost tripped ... we had a huge dialogue and reassessed the insecurity.. and believe me at a point i thought its all over... but the beauty of being in love is... it bounces back.. and man.. did it..!!!

so gracefully bounced back that now its better than new, all over again... i hear the orchestra....!!! and its playing such exciting tunes...!!!


ps: i don't know if this is viable to share coz its personal but am just too overwhelmed to not let the world know!