My mom was shy and asked me not to post this pic but just look at how pretty it is! Sorry, I posted. 
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Year 1984, mum was in orrisa with my big brother who was just a year old and she was traveling because there were riots in Ahmedabad . She and bhai managed to comeback safe but consequently it was their marriage anniversary and dad bought this beautiful dreamy printed silk saree for ma as a present and welcome gift. And no ordinary guy buying a saree for his woman, dad always sneaked a blouse from her wardrobe and got the new one stitched for her before gifting it to her, so that it was ready to wear!(he continues to do so) Also, the bed is in the frame because the bedsheet was also part of the gift. 

Storm after the calm #2

Fear has flawed me
Flowed through me endlessly
Gripping my enthusiasm 
Stuck in my back like a spasm
It's not fear of losing you
Will I find me the way I am
If you walk away?
And if I do, will I need
The houses and the streets
The long empty roads
And the sound of the wind
Should I pack some lessons
Or learn to let go
Will my inhibitions walk along?
Asleep after a storm
Not used to too much peace
If everything's going right
Why are my eyes laid on the other side
Could I walk past
Every lane that could remind
Making rejections my check post
Levying taxes am unaware of
Paying anyway as I move
Back onto the same roads
Not to test but to find
The parts I left behind
My bags are filling up this time
Despite the emptiness
My eyes are bright
I taste fear again
This time I am used to the game
Your aching heart
Has no hold over me
Why are you right here
And I can't feel a thing?

Ethically Unethical

People often blatantly
Shamelessly and selfishly
Turn green with envy
Pretending to be well wishers
Then when I scream
I am asked to calm down
And sheepishly questioned
Is there a deeper anger lying within!

No you brainless lost soul
Pretending to be naive
Your unethical ways
Have left me distorted
You stayed too close
I had let my guards done
Now the gates are bolted
With the keys hanging out

Come in or go away
I am okay with whatever it is
Let's be friends
Let's pretend to care for a little longer
Let's act like we have missed each other
And when we feel better
Let's not let each other know
That we will be fine without the other

Uncertainty

Sometimes I count my blessings
Other times I drown in fear
Hustling with ideals
Swinging around dirt
Skipping lanes easily
To find a shortcut
Sometimes I feel good
Other times I have doubts
Feeding the undesired
Sparing the sunshine
Running away from illusions
Some yours many mine
Some days are terrible
Other days sense prevails
I harbour myself to the moment
Letting the questions fade
I build a little shelter
And I ask for no rent
Sometimes I am amazed
Other days completely dazed
Why are my verses so long
Why do I feel unheard
If I am good you are too
But if you doubt I blow out
Some times I accept
Sometimes it's enough
Sometimes we go in circles
More like a cyclone

It's TIME

There comes a time
We are told often
When things will make sense
There comes a time
We make ourselves believe
When we would be free of pretence
There comes a time
That moment of realisation
That we keep waiting on
There comes a time
You put your guards up
To avoid damage from storms
There comes a time
Whether we like it or not
When we are called on our truth
There comes a time
When we sail into nothingness
Labouring for the fruits
That time shakes and moves us
That time needs us to be true
The time when the final verdict is set upon you

Storm after the calm #1

I believe in my boundaries
Like the ostrich's neck in the sand
I believe in your lies
Unless you change your stand

Easy to point a finger
Easier to smoulder in hurt
Easy to believe I deserved
The most honest encounters

The mirror is a river
My reflection deceives
People come so far
To only deal with what they perceive

Worry not my old friend
I tell myself often
There's yet a lot of life to live
Yet a trail of guilt to follow

Yet my frail mind to grow
Teething as my gums bleed
My tongue exhausted and restless
I walk around as the voices scream

And it goes on...

The cat hid the dead mouse 
The Dog dug his bone
The man made another excuse
And life goes on..
And life goes on
Sparing no remorse
We work towards maintaining
An illusion; a face of farce
And life goes on
The demons rising within
I told you I will be shattered
Like the pieces of this dream
And life goes on
Reflecting fresh memories
I told you I will be shattered
Like the pieces of this dream

it is what it is

Oh how easy it is
For life to seem unfair
We live in moments
Wandering here and there
Seeking comfort and peace
Quick to question and yet to believe
Giving trust a worthy place
Hoping to deserve it
Crawling with dreams
That never made any sense
Oh how easy it is
To be fooled and turn a blind eye
Oh how easy it is
To let go and feel lost
Oh how easy it is
To build illusions and ignore
What it really is! 

MAAZI KE GHULAM | June, 2012

Unhe gharoor he apni khamoshi par

toh hum bhi kuch na keh kar chal diye...

unhe naaz he apni khush dili par

toh hum bhi muskura diye

ye baat un dino ki he,

jab hasne me magroor the hum

ab woh baat nahi na himmat he,

bas taqdeer pe hi inhisaar

talaash karte he masle ka hal

nikle he lekar chirag joh roshan..

dil me dard he, yun na samajhna

hum toh he qalm ke ghulam..

ibadat karte he ab din raat

mazdoor hi sahi, he tumhari bhi ehmiyat khaas

is dil me jagah he kayam

lekin he hum haalat ke ghulam..

humarai nazm ko ikraar mat samajhna

ye toh he humara andaaz

daira ufaq bhi zareen he..

ye pal gumshuda..

hume yakeen he humari awaz sunai di

warna kyun dilchaspi se uda rahe aap mazaak..

Patterns

It's easy to throw the anchor
With this warmth creeping up
Encroaching all inhibitions 
Changing all perceptions 
But I have sailed and stayed put
Held and deserted 
Recovered from pain 
Just to fall again!