Storm after the calm #2

Fear has flawed me
Flowed through me endlessly
Gripping my enthusiasm 
Stuck in my back like a spasm
It's not fear of losing you
Will I find me the way I am
If you walk away?
And if I do, will I need
The houses and the streets
The long empty roads
And the sound of the wind
Should I pack some lessons
Or learn to let go
Will my inhibitions walk along?
Asleep after a storm
Not used to too much peace
If everything's going right
Why are my eyes laid on the other side
Could I walk past
Every lane that could remind
Making rejections my check post
Levying taxes am unaware of
Paying anyway as I move
Back onto the same roads
Not to test but to find
The parts I left behind
My bags are filling up this time
Despite the emptiness
My eyes are bright
I taste fear again
This time I am used to the game
Your aching heart
Has no hold over me
Why are you right here
And I can't feel a thing?