The MAGIC of growing up....

When each morning seems like a battle to be won.. and office is waiting for you to come and fulfill your duties///your child cries for your attention and husband winks at you..when no one tells you what to do yet you have a non-ending list of to-dos...! is it then, that you can be called grown up?

its really not the age or the responsibilities you have. its neither your perspective nor what others think of you.

its when you respond..and hold your reactions, its when you hold your breath before jumping to conclusions, its when you pass on making judgments and when you don't need assurance from the world to know who you are. I say this so confidently because i, in my life have met a few people, who i can vouch on being grown-ups and in the true sense..

Its so generously comfortable to be with such people. People who don't need explanations of why you are in a particular situation, who would graciously hear you out and need be, give an advice which would be worth.

I won't say the name of the person here, or you would say am biased, but the guy is very close to me, and i have closely been associated with him and his endeavors.. not once have i seen the guy getting carried away, passing a judgment or criticizing without any base. He cares as much for his own limitations in the world and keeps its clean. Respects people for who they are and doesn't get worked up if there are people playing dirty with him.

I am not trying to make a statement here, but he is more or less an example well put for a grown up.

Its time we left our inhibitions of being judged, criticized and gave rest to our imagination where others are concerned... I find it strange for people to have other's perspective being the scale to measure what they really are. I find it difficult to sit with people who permanently blame others for their doom. i am discomforted by people who take support of funny diseases to gain sympathy and be the center of attraction.

I am gonna write a separate article on the consequence of being a victim to judgments and on passing judgments.

have a good day all...

while trying to let the tea gorge down my throat and maybe provide some relief from this impending treasure of bad feelings...i looked up and saw a piece broken from a wall hanging in the office,,,i turned my eyes away feeling deeper down... and my eyes rested on the pendulum of the wall clock and as depressing as my perspective got, the pendulum wasn't moving like it does usually...

i closed my eyes for a while and tried singing a song to myself and all sorts of sad songs started popping in my head, and my alter ego screamed......!!!

i tried concentrating on my breathing and realised how difficult it was getting to breathe.. how heavy my chest felt and the creepiness of depression was spreading into my eyes hands fingers ...nerves...!

i quickly fled from where i was sitting, went away to light a fag and smoke away my angst or pain or freaking mood swing, whichever it was.. i looked down the window and to my distress saw a bunch laborers working their sweat off on a construction and an abandoned(ignored) baby sitting by him/herself, not more than the age of 1, and eating sand...! noone to bother... and suddenly it started crying... and still noone bothered....!

My heart went deeper into the whirlpool of sadness it was harnessing....

there had to be a problem behind my ultra low feelings, i thought. Out of complete helplessness and with no on who knew what i was going through, i texted him, "Feeling depressed, extremely low, don't see a way out. feel like crying".

Pause

and asking no questions thereof, no explanations requested, no discussions sought, I smiled as i read Frank's (my husband, my friend, my love, my guide, the man i am always going to be grateful to god and his parents for) reply, " its okay baby. Enjoy the present, who has seen the future."

the power of togetherness is magic in itself..

i looked down and my perspective changed, i smiled as i saw that the baby by itself had stopped crying and was trying to keep himself busy(by now i know its a him). i came back to my den and gave a slight push to the pendulum stuck and it started moving peacefully again.. i cut the hanging piece out of the wall hanging and sat down to write this...!

the butterflies released!