Friday, January 29, 2010

It's a vicious Circle!!!!!


I tell myself all is going to be okay as I am informed that "x" told boss that I gossiped against him!!!!!
Boss confronts me and I clarify that gossips are generally group Activity and how can I be put in the spot !!!!!
I come out and confront people why put me in the spot???and "y" says "z" told me you said so ... so I ask "z"(as If I hadn't had enough in the boss's den of confrontations) so "z" asked "y" and in turn "y" asked I (as in me) and f***!!!now even the topic in concern is lost but at the cost of everyone getting disturbed!!! I hereby state to be very clear and transparent as has been my effort from the very beggining ! Forgive me as I apologise for being part of this vicious circle hence proving that you only end up insecure when indulged in office friendship!!!! It's easier to grow up rather than being neutral!!!!!


Cheers for all the good times before the insecurities began!!!!!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Its official...!


some joke cracked somewhere and all chip in for a laugh.... the little personal touch added for a better environment .... my little office had me and my boss loitering around the corners stacking up work and working our ass off to get it done with...our accountants sat behind in the next room...trying to figure what we keep laughing about... whatever little time we got we made jokes about the rest of the world assuming our selves to be obvious greater beings...!

yes officially, even though the corporate rule is to 'hate your boss'.. i never felt the same...
on the contrary, i felt an ownership...!

but people dynamics is something you learn to live with... and when you don't.. one ends up like me...!

as my collegue once quoted,'DTA- Don't Trust Anyone'!!! that quote crashed on my face when my boss, one-by-one took out topics of our lunch time gossip and after office discussions and threw on my face only what i had said...! hence proving that i was corrupt..! i cleared the confusion..
i relised my mstakes but a question hung in the air............!!!!

if people is what drives an organization, why is everyone only trying to cut the other's organizational life short??? why the factors like jealousy, vanity, lies and confusions such a major part of people dealings??? aren't things more fruitful when they are straight and out in the open??
why is everyone only looking for credit and waiting to snatch an opportunity to feel great at another's cost??

reading this you may feel why i behave as if i am so naive? but hell psychology, reverse psychology, people dynamics, relations have been subjects i have scored excellently at college and reading but i am a classic example for theoretical knowledge but no implication...!!

applaud for me...!!!!!



DECLARATION: my blog is where i vent out my frustration by sharing what i feel for the world , keeping in account that i think i am right in most situations.. believe in human tendencies and aggregate of my emotions is not what i am always, necessarily..!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN....!

6 years back, i heard the orchestra playing in the backgroud when i realised i was in love and wanted to be with him forever...and things took shape thereon... we got married... we had a son... we do things together and we also say 'i love you' to each other everyday... but somewhere i had stopped indulging in the orchestra playing in the background..like muted it to be busy in other routine like bringing up Neil(my son), doing other things like cooking, working....!!etc... lately, when my husband thought i was having an affair...he almost tripped ... we had a huge dialogue and reassessed the insecurity.. and believe me at a point i thought its all over... but the beauty of being in love is... it bounces back.. and man.. did it..!!!

so gracefully bounced back that now its better than new, all over again... i hear the orchestra....!!! and its playing such exciting tunes...!!!


ps: i don't know if this is viable to share coz its personal but am just too overwhelmed to not let the world know!