I waited after knocking at my friend's door and heard her labrador barking, instantly, as is the usual, i was prepared to save myself(or whatever it is that you do when dogs get pangs of affection and want to lick you all over). Before i could notice her face popping out of the door, i saw the labrador anticipating my walking in, with hopeful eyes and her tongue out. I entered and stood still as my friend gave the dog instructions to not trouble me. We settled on a couch and talked but my attention was distracted each time the labrador would lift up her head and turn to look at me, with that puppy dog expression. We got engrossed in a certain conversation, and without a warning, the lab started gently rubbing his body against my legs, begging me to acknowledge her presence. Instinctively, i cringed, pulling my legs closer to myself, forcing my friend to shout at the poor dog again. The third time as she started coming near me, i decided. I wasn't going to resist anymore. I let her come close, lick my bare foot, rub herself against my legs, caress my hands with her face and I gave in. I lovingly patted her head, cuddled her fat tummy, moved my hand on her soft leathery skin and there she was. Satisfied by my defenseless attention. We sat through the rest of the conversation with a content labrador, resting with her head down. I swear, i almost saw her smile...
Just as i have seen situations smiling at me, each time i have resisted them with all my strength and power to only succumb and give in in the end. So is the quote, 'what you resist, persists' so true?
Resistance is the first weapon we pick. A weapon we use when we defend. A weapon we use when we think(Mind you, THINK) we are cornered, unsafe, open for a wound. It' s forceful, strong, concentrates all your energies into "helping" you defend and leaves you drained, exhausted and frustrated.
Coming back to my own philosophical self, ( a self on a journey of growth, an insight to learning to be just happy, with no conditions applied) as my reader, can you then think of the things we resist everyday? while you think, just spare a thought to what i have experienced, I have been making, for all the times i have known, mistakes that were inevitable, unintentional, intentional, avoidable.I have ran too fast from them, from troubles, ignored one too many rejections and overlooked the fingers pointing. I have been rolling along a ball of optimism for too long to believe it anymore. Judging too soon, speaking too fast, reacting too early, sharing too much. All this while wiping away the fears, forgetting the hurt, forgiving the culprits, missing my offences, guarding, resisting, ducking, hiding and camouflaging behind the defense of not accepting, my own. My own, my flaws, my misgivings and my faults.
Blame, criticism, vices, desires, cravings...before they reach us, we pick up this weapon and start our fight. Not even giving a chance for our wide open mind to test them, we quickly start building a fence before they could be introduced, we close our mind, limit it from acceptance, prepare it to deny and defend. From where i see, when someone blames me, criticizes me, shows me my vices, questions my desires, judges my cravings, i, if nothing, understand one thing. They put in their energy to pull a thread from my character. My suggestion, quickly then, let them. If they pull the negative off, and you didn't resist, won't that be burden off your shoulders of carrying self-doubt? Slowly as they make a roll of the thread they pull, someone else would see a new layer knitted below to be pulled off. One by one, layer by layer, as you let go, you would be left with nothing to hold unto. Nothing that would hold back either. Just plain you, ready to take on, bare and defenseless. Brave and calm. If there was a Profession as happiness, you'd be industry ready.
But by this you would think, if i didn't resist ever, wouldn't I end up a hippy, a wanderer? On my own, on a path where i let everything come unto me? On a path where i have wounded myself, ignoring the rocks, having seen them, left with scars. But they are there, these scars, this path i have walked on, is behind me and i have come ahead. For that, there's a plain simple exercise or quote or test i let myself pass(having been burnt by letting myself, in the past, be cheated by a superficial definition of happiness, and learning to resist only nothing). When i do good, i feel good and when i do bad, i feel bad. It's simple. We are grown, aware people with full knowledge of good and bad(it's never what's good for me, isn't good for you. The knowledge of the conscious and conscience ensures and promotes with a light we switch on and switch off according to our convenience). The only way out is to do what makes you happy and that happiness should be tax free(all yours, nothing paid at the cost of anything)
If you know what i mean
