i have a habit of going onto google and reading meanings and quotes on certain topics. Be it random, subject relevant..anything.. these days with a striving need for a change of heart, i explore topics like love, hate, expectations, depression, judgement, envy etc.. but what stares right at my face is the ugliest, most harsh of all emotions- ANGER. Its the most ridiculous of all emotions, because, not everyone understands, but anger is a robe we create and wear around ourselves to protect us from our own shortcomings.. by that i mean, our expectations for ourselves, self judgement and comparisons to others. When I read a lot of things about anger, i came across some very insightful and interesting concepts that make sense.. If you bear with me, I would want to present those concepts with reference to my understanding.. the one's in Italian are google searches and below them, my thoughts...spit the anger, exhale out the disappointment, leave the expectations and let go...
"A natural reaction to pain or being hurt is anger. It’s part of the instinctive animal nature of any being. When we perceive a danger of being hurt, the fight mechanism of anger helps to ensure our protection. The misleading element is when our mind perceives the cause incorrectly."
Over the past few months, from turning 24 to 25, i faced some life changing moments and learnt that letting go off things, is in fact the biggest lesson, we ever will learn. You would say am going on a spiritual tangent, but truly, if you look at causes of anger, they are frustrations, disappointments, expectations.. how easy it would be to let go off a few standards we create for ourselves and expect other associated with us to live up to those standards..?
"However a person’s belief system doesn’t necessarily operate on rationality. It operates based on beliefs and assumptions. We often aren’t aware of how our beliefs operate and how they create our emotions so they may seem hidden. These beliefs aren’t really hidden. It’s just that we haven’t gone looking at them before. Too often we accept our first thoughts about things or the surface level assumption without reflecting deeper. "
having come across the above quote, i question, is it fair to even have a belief system..? shouldn't we let even that go? what is our knowledge if not composition from the experiences in the environment we are in, emotions we encounter from the people we meet, compilations of various societal norms and certain religious, ancient figments? and what more is our belief system if not a summary of our knowledge... aren't we then limiting ourselves?
Wisdom then, to me, is letting go .. belief system restricts us to think in a certain way, to do a certain things, to follow a certain pattern, but if in that pattern, if in that system, if in that way, we fail the basic need of life, happiness..then whats the point? if we fight guilt of doing whats wrong, because society judges and so we decide on self-judgement, if we feel hurt because we believe we have to be treated in a particular way,we stress over deserving a particular amount of respect...isn't then the smart thing to do is.. letting go? letting go off these funny ideas we have? letting go off these certain benchmarks we have created? letting go off the self worth that blinds us?
"emotions can build up over time until our efforts to keep them repressed slip and produce an outburst over the smallest triggering event."
"There’s a distinct difference between triggers and causes of anger. When you don’t have awareness of the underlying beliefs you can make the mistake of focusing on the trigger and missing the cause."
When we let anger embrace us, if we let ourselves burn in anger, if you examine yourself at that very moment, your ability to rational thinking is gone..you have a cape of enrage of such magnanimity that your belief mistakes the people associated with the cause of your anger to be the cause of anger...!
What i mean to say is, I might have a certain expectations from life, for example, like i have to live in a certain way, i deserve a certain attention, i expect to have this and that and when you are challenged by facing a person with all these "luxuries"(mind you, inverted commas, because, again its a belief), your anger gets triggered, that is not the cause of your anger.. that person, harmlessly just lives a life bestowed upon him/her, but you associate them with your anger, and you feel agitated when around them or when they are mentioned..you might not have an angry outburst but due to your anger you might say spiteful things against them, or measure your own self-worth...but what happens in return? we end up wounding ourselves and in a lot of cases the one who's triggered your anger too...
"Once a person becomes aware of the self judgment and self rejection from the inner judge he directed his efforts at dissolving them. By eliminating the self judgments the person will no longer have those painful feelings of unworthiness and not being good enough. Without those painful feelings there is no anger from the fight or flight mechanism in the person's mind. "
if you really want to learn what is letting go.. then watch this moment.. you embrace it and let go off it or you dont' embrace the next.. this moment soon shall be "that" moment..if you know what i mean ;)
In the end, i ll summarize my thoughts to a beautiful, ever inspiring song by Kishore Kumar
Aanewala Pal Jaanewala Hai
Ho Sake To Iss Mein Zindagi Bitaado
Pal Jo Yeh Jaanewala Hai
Ek Baar Waqt Se Lamha Gira Kahin (2)
Wahaan Dastan Mili Lamha Kahin Nahin
Thoda Sa Hasaake Thoda Sa Rulaake Pal Ye Bhi Jaanewala Hai Ho Ho
"A natural reaction to pain or being hurt is anger. It’s part of the instinctive animal nature of any being. When we perceive a danger of being hurt, the fight mechanism of anger helps to ensure our protection. The misleading element is when our mind perceives the cause incorrectly."
Over the past few months, from turning 24 to 25, i faced some life changing moments and learnt that letting go off things, is in fact the biggest lesson, we ever will learn. You would say am going on a spiritual tangent, but truly, if you look at causes of anger, they are frustrations, disappointments, expectations.. how easy it would be to let go off a few standards we create for ourselves and expect other associated with us to live up to those standards..?
"However a person’s belief system doesn’t necessarily operate on rationality. It operates based on beliefs and assumptions. We often aren’t aware of how our beliefs operate and how they create our emotions so they may seem hidden. These beliefs aren’t really hidden. It’s just that we haven’t gone looking at them before. Too often we accept our first thoughts about things or the surface level assumption without reflecting deeper. "
having come across the above quote, i question, is it fair to even have a belief system..? shouldn't we let even that go? what is our knowledge if not composition from the experiences in the environment we are in, emotions we encounter from the people we meet, compilations of various societal norms and certain religious, ancient figments? and what more is our belief system if not a summary of our knowledge... aren't we then limiting ourselves?
Wisdom then, to me, is letting go .. belief system restricts us to think in a certain way, to do a certain things, to follow a certain pattern, but if in that pattern, if in that system, if in that way, we fail the basic need of life, happiness..then whats the point? if we fight guilt of doing whats wrong, because society judges and so we decide on self-judgement, if we feel hurt because we believe we have to be treated in a particular way,we stress over deserving a particular amount of respect...isn't then the smart thing to do is.. letting go? letting go off these funny ideas we have? letting go off these certain benchmarks we have created? letting go off the self worth that blinds us?
"emotions can build up over time until our efforts to keep them repressed slip and produce an outburst over the smallest triggering event."
"There’s a distinct difference between triggers and causes of anger. When you don’t have awareness of the underlying beliefs you can make the mistake of focusing on the trigger and missing the cause."
When we let anger embrace us, if we let ourselves burn in anger, if you examine yourself at that very moment, your ability to rational thinking is gone..you have a cape of enrage of such magnanimity that your belief mistakes the people associated with the cause of your anger to be the cause of anger...!
What i mean to say is, I might have a certain expectations from life, for example, like i have to live in a certain way, i deserve a certain attention, i expect to have this and that and when you are challenged by facing a person with all these "luxuries"(mind you, inverted commas, because, again its a belief), your anger gets triggered, that is not the cause of your anger.. that person, harmlessly just lives a life bestowed upon him/her, but you associate them with your anger, and you feel agitated when around them or when they are mentioned..you might not have an angry outburst but due to your anger you might say spiteful things against them, or measure your own self-worth...but what happens in return? we end up wounding ourselves and in a lot of cases the one who's triggered your anger too...
"Once a person becomes aware of the self judgment and self rejection from the inner judge he directed his efforts at dissolving them. By eliminating the self judgments the person will no longer have those painful feelings of unworthiness and not being good enough. Without those painful feelings there is no anger from the fight or flight mechanism in the person's mind. "
if you really want to learn what is letting go.. then watch this moment.. you embrace it and let go off it or you dont' embrace the next.. this moment soon shall be "that" moment..if you know what i mean ;)
In the end, i ll summarize my thoughts to a beautiful, ever inspiring song by Kishore Kumar
Aanewala Pal Jaanewala Hai
Ho Sake To Iss Mein Zindagi Bitaado
Pal Jo Yeh Jaanewala Hai
Ek Baar Waqt Se Lamha Gira Kahin (2)
Wahaan Dastan Mili Lamha Kahin Nahin
Thoda Sa Hasaake Thoda Sa Rulaake Pal Ye Bhi Jaanewala Hai Ho Ho
